Why did she hide it from me?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

A friend of mine recently emailed from out of the blue to tell me he knew something about my girlfriend that he thought I should know. I was surprised because I didn't know they knew each other, and this wasn't someone who was close to me. I asked him to tell me more and he replied saying he thought she was someone who had been engaged to a relative of his and was surprised to see her dating me after that engagement broke off. My girlfriend had never mentioned this to me so I asked her, and she confirmed it, saying she just didn't come to terms with the idea of marrying someone she didn't respect. When I asked why she hadn't said anything about this before we began dating, she said she wanted a clean slate and wanted to put it behind her. My question is, does it make sense for me to be with someone who can withhold such an important piece of information about her past?
Why does the past have anything to do with how the two of you work on your relationship at present? She has given you a perfectly valid explanation and it is up to you to accept or reject it. If you accept it and focus on moving forward, you can both benefit by growing stronger as a couple. If you reject it and think her refusal to tell you something about her personal life gets in the way of you trusting each other, you are not in a healthy relationship and probably need to work on it a little more. Either way, this boils down to her importance in your life, what you expect from her, and whether the two of you intend to be together for much longer. If you choose to accept that her personal life is hers to share, you can always talk about what bothers you, and why you expect her to tell you more about her life. Healthy dialogue can make all the difference.

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