'She doesn't think sex is important'
My girlfriend is never interested in sex, even though I have tried everything I can to make her feel more wanted.
I am unhappy with the physical aspect of my relationship. My girlfriend is never interested in sex, even though I have tried everything I can to make her feel more wanted. We have spoken about this often, but she thinks I am exaggerating. I have tried to explain that is an important part of bonding and that it will bring us closer, but she doesn't even think there is a problem to begin with. This is starting to frustrate me a lot because I believe it will end up driving me away. How do I get her to understand?
Not admitting to a problem is tricky, because you are both entitled to a point of view even if you don't necessarily subscribe to it. Her not accepting your point of view is not a good sign. If you believe this can harm your relationship, and it probably will, you have to tell her that speaking to a professional is the only way out. Maybe an outside opinion can get her to take this more seriously. Either way, ignoring it is not an option because you're right about it being an important aspect of any relationship. Tell her that she doesn't have to agree with you but accepting that you have different expectations may be a start.
Is it okay for someone to be extremely nasty in public but be really nice in private? My boyfriend loves saying horrible things to people he meets, so his friends all think he's a terrible person. I know he is not though, because he is completely different when we are alone. I don't want to change who he is, but I think I should let him know that his behaviour hurts people.
You can tell him how people perceive him, and then simply allow him to make up his own mind. Being horrible to people is never a good thing, even if you're not the one he is being horrible to. This is ultimately his decision though, because he is an adult.
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