Bhasker rejects toxic beauty standards while navigating motherhood as she returns to showbiz with new reality show ‘Pati, Patni Aur Panga’
Fahad Ahmad and Swara Bhasker. Pic/Yogen Shah
She is fierce, protective, and speaks her mind, but most don’t know that Swara Bhasker has an infectious sense of fun and humour. Her film choices reflect only a part of her sensibilities, so to showcase another side of her personality, the actor has signed up for the new reality show, Pati, Patni Aur Panga, with politician-husband Fahad Ahmad. Although new to the reality show format, Bhasker says she was ready to ease back into work, while prioritising the care of her 22-month-old daughter Raabiya. However, what surprised her more was Fahad’s response to the camera. “I had no idea he had this hidden reality star in him,” says the actor. In conversation with mid-day, she talks about why she chose to return to showbiz with this series after a long break, how her family reacted, and the body shaming she endured after pregnancy.
Excerpts from the interview.
Your entry into Pati, Patni Aur Panga came as a huge shock. Why did you opt for this show as your comeback after maternity leave?
I think your reaction is similar to mine when the channel offered me the reality show. But after meeting the creative team and hearing the concept, I found it really cute. It also gave Fahad an opportunity to be part of my world. Last year, he stood in elections, so I completely immersed myself in his world. I thought it might be nice for him to experience mine in a way that allows him to participate too. But I’ll admit, what actually made me say yes was the fact that they shoot only once a week. I’m a relatively new mom, and my baby isn’t even two yet. I’ve been on a break for almost two years. Of course, I’ve loved this time, and the break was important for me. But I was slowly ready to return to work, in small bits. I couldn’t commit to a full schedule of shooting for 14 hours every day for 30–40 days straight. I’m still nursing Raabiya. Maybe she could manage, but I couldn’t stay away from her. This shooting schedule worked with my current life. They were flexible, and I could bring her on set.
What was it like shooting for the reality show?
I’ve hosted on TV before, but it was a different kind of content. This was a new experience for me. Frankly, the first two days, I felt a bit out of my depth — wondering what exactly was happening. But it’s a friendly set, everyone is lovely, and the vibe is pure fun. The experience has been pleasant. Munawar [Faruqui] is quick-witted and keeps everyone engaged. Sonali [Bendre] is positive and graceful — she bears the rough edges of Munawar’s acerbic humour. Together, they strike a great balance [as hosts]. The participants are friendly, and I think I’ve discovered a new side to my husband. I never knew he could be so natural in front of the camera! He was horrendous at our sangeet — refused to dance or even pose for pictures during the wedding. I had no idea he had this hidden reality star in him. He’s the one getting all the rave reviews!
Will the show open new avenues for you and let people see a different side of your life?
Absolutely, that was another reason I agreed to it. As public figures, especially in the media, we’re not necessarily always in control of how we’re perceived. There’s so much narrative-setting and image-building that happens without our input — more so if you’re someone who doesn’t shy away from polarised debates. There’s an activist image attached to me — largely my own doing — since I attend protests, speak my mind, and voice dissenting opinions. And in today’s climate, that gets interpreted in a particular way, especially on platforms like X. People think I only [fight] on X — as if that’s all there is to me. Directors have admitted they expected me to be a fighter cock. I joke that I only fight on X, not in real life! Ironically, Pati, Patni Aur Panga is all about couples squabbling — so Fahad and I do fight a lot on screen, but it’s all in fun. I hope this will show another side of me and help us reach a new kind of audience. It’s come at the right time.
Do you think it will help Fahad in his next political campaign?
I hope so, in a good way. I hope people see there’s more to us than politics, X, and social causes.
Do you feel people can create controversies even with such a show?
One hundred per cent. There’s an entire industry that thrives on manufacturing controversies — sensationalised videos, [clickbait] hashtags — they do it for a living. And then there’s that one segment of trolls who target me no matter what I do. They’re very organised and clearly sponsored. I call them my ‘nafrati chintus’. That kind of noise is inevitable. But I believe reality TV gives people, especially those often labelled controversial, a chance to represent themselves. That’s perhaps its most redeeming quality.
Is reality TV hard?
It’s super hectic. Reality shows make actors work harder than films. On films, you get breaks. Here, the shoot is relentless — you’re always on set, always under 360-degree cameras. It took some getting used to. We had one day of rehearsal shoot, which really helped. The show is essentially games and gimmicks. On shoot days, we work for 16 hours straight, and I don’t get to see my baby, which is tough. So, I keep her in the vanity van and try to balance as much as possible.
How did your family react to your decision?
I don’t think my parents has ever watched a reality show before! But they’re more excited than worried. They’re always happy to see us. Fahad’s family is extremely excited too.
Did you face judgement for taking a maternity break or body shaming?
The moment you start posting pictures again after having a baby, people start saying, “Oh, she’s so fat now.” What do they think happens? I’ve had a baby! People should study biology. The discourse is daft, toxic, unintelligent, and ill-informed. The assumption is that women in the public eye must remain desirable to the male gaze. And I don’t just mean men — even women internalise the male gaze. It isn’t gender-specific. When I first read comments calling me ‘bhains’, it felt mean and nasty. Some people said, “She married a Muslim, so she’s become fat.” I don’t even understand that connection! It hurt initially, but I eventually made peace with it. I remember a video of Aishwarya Rai [Bachchan], where she was trolled post-pregnancy. She’s one of the most beautiful women in the world. If they didn’t spare her, who am I? You’ll be judged no matter what you do. If you return to work too quickly, you’re labelled a bad mother. If you’re too thin, they claim you were never pregnant. People even said Deepika Padukone faked her pregnancy. How idiotic is that? For women, there’s no winning.
Personally, I have no desire to “bounce back”. Life moves forward, not backwards. My child’s birth is the greatest joy of my life, and it has changed me forever. I’ll never be single again — for the rest of my life, I carry the responsibility of my child. So, why would I want to go back to an old version of myself? That’s no longer my truth. Yes, I want to look good on camera, but I don’t need to look like 28-year-old Swara Bhasker, pre-motherhood. I’m a mother now, and that’s not going to change.
TV shows Swara Bhasker hosted
2014
‘Samvidhaan’ — a television series exploring the framing of the Indian Constitution
2015-17
‘Rangoli’ on Doordarshan — the popular Sunday morning music request show
Other contestants on ‘Pati, Patni Aur Panga’
Rocky Jaiswal and Hina Khan
Sudesh Lehri and Mamta Lehri
Abhinav Shukla and Rubina Dilaik
On the work front
Post her maternity break, Swara Bhasker is set to make her directorial and writing debut with a short film that delves into the emotional complexities of male friendship. The story centres on two friends navigating a turning point in their relationship, exploring themes of love, and the unspoken layers that often exist in close bonds. “I had already written the script two years ago. Now, I’m waiting to get back on it slowly,” she says.
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