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Dating but not ready for sex? Here’re expert intimacy tips for successful romantic relationship

Updated on: 04 December,2023 09:04 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Aakanksha Ahire |

Are you scared to confess to your partner that you don't want to have sex? Do you worry that it may harm your relationship? There are still many ways that may spice up your dating life. Here are a few expert tips

Dating but not ready for sex? Here’re expert intimacy tips for successful romantic relationship

If your partner communicates to you about not wanting to have sex, show compassion and actively listen to them. Photo Courtesy: iStock

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Dating but not ready for sex? Here’re expert intimacy tips for successful romantic relationship

For many couples, sex is uncompromisable for a long-lasting and successful relationship. But what if you or your partner is not ready for the big step just yet? There is no one rule that applies to all. Every couple has a different equation and approach to romance, intimacy and sexual preferences. 

Yet, many unwilling to have sex might find it difficult to navigate through this situation. Niyatii N Shah, intimacy coach, founder and president of Averti Education and council of sex educators for social change shares tips to keep your relationship exciting without sex. 

What is truly required for a relationship to be successful is a deep understanding between partners, open communication and listening to each other’s needs. According to Shah, “Every relationship is unique and what defines its success is deeply personal and varies from couple to couple. While penetrative sex can be a fulfilling and intimate experience for many couples, it is by no means a requirement for a successful relationship.” 

It is absolutely normal and okay to not want to have sex with your partner even if you love them. Addressing this and conveying it to your partner can be overwhelming, but is important. 

Shah lists down helpful tips on how you can approach the issue: 
It takes immense strength to initiate such a vulnerable conversation. Find a quiet and safe space where you and your partner can safely open up and share your thoughts and feelings. Remember, this is an opportunity for growth and understanding within your relationship. 

Be specific about your feelings and desires. Clearly express your emotions, being honest about your lack of desire for sexual intimacy. Share your concerns, fears and any underlying reasons behind your reluctance. It's important to articulate your boundaries and make them known. 

If your partner communicates to you about not wanting to have sex, show compassion and actively listen to them. Acknowledge the validity of each other's feelings. Together, seek to find a middle ground where both your needs are met. 

Remember that consent is an ongoing process that requires both individuals to willingly participate. Respecting each other's boundaries is crucial to maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship. No one should ever feel coerced or guilty when it comes to matters of intimacy. 

Look for options and alternatives. Explore alternative ways to foster intimacy and connection that align with both of your needs. 

Shah says, “Intimacy is not solely defined by sexual intercourse. There are innumerable ways to share intimacy with a partner to ignite passion without engaging in penetrative sex.” 

Here are a few things you can do besides sex to keep things exciting:

Engage in passionate kissing 
You can do a lot with just your lips to ignite flames of desire. Explore the depths of intimacy through sensual and lingering kisses that express your deepest emotions and desires. 

Indulge in sensual touch 
Your hands can become instruments of pleasure and connection. Explore your partner's body with gentle caresses, exploring every curve, every sensitive spot. Allow the power of touch to awaken their senses and create a profound bond between you. 

Experience the magic of mutual masturbation 
This beautiful act involves pleasuring yourselves in the presence of each other, and celebrating your individual desires while connecting intimately. It's an opportunity to witness and appreciate the unique pleasure your partner experiences. 

Explore oral pleasure 
The art of oral sex can be incredibly pleasurable and intimate. Explore the power of giving and receiving pleasure through sensual and gentle caresses with your lips and tongue, savouring every exquisite moment. 

Give each other erotic massages 
Create a sacred space where you can indulge in the art of sensual massage. Use aromatic oils, gentle strokes, and kneading motions to relax and arouse your partner's body. 

Experiment with sensual exploration 
Unleash your creativity by exploring different sensations, such as feather-light touches, silk fabrics or ice cubes. Engage in sensory play, and discover what excites and arouses you and your partner for ultimate pleasure. 

Dive into the realm of sex toys 
This is a rather unique and exciting way to make the act of intimacy more exciting. Make use of sex toys to enhance pleasure and exploration. From vibrators to sensual stimulators, there's a wide range of options to discover that can bring you immense joy. However, be sure to not make this a habit. 

Shah strongly suggests being prepared to walk away from gaslighting or blame. It is important to recognize that any form of gaslighting or blame is not acceptable. If your partner refuses to respect your boundaries or tries to manipulate you, be prepared to prioritize your well-being and consider seeking support or potentially re-evaluating the relationship. 

Also Read: Afraid of having sex due to pregnancy scares? Experts share tips that will help

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