In memory of a fine scolding

The first time I met Chandita Mukherjee it was for a job She was at Natraj Studios working on language versions of Bharat Ki Chhaap a landmark show she created on the history of science in India for the then single television channel Doordarshan I was 21 and rather intimidated by her statuesque presence her long plait her knowledgable comments on the misal pav she was eating and thearmy of very busy and professional looking women who were working with her on the projectI was young overwhelmed by the city and the idea of work and nervous about saying no so I flaked massively on getting back to herThe second time I met Chandita she gave me a scolding I was assisting another filmmaker and ran into her while we were shooting a peace concert in a maidan somewhere in the city She told me in forthright termsmdashnot mean but definitely firmmdashthat what I had done was wrong I was suitably ashamed Yet I recognised even in my foolish and shameful young way that this scolding meant she was taking me seriously telling me to take myself seriously to be professional dependable and to excel if I wanted to make something of myself in this world Irsquod entered It was a strict impersonal gesture of apnapan an expansive act of mentorshipIn the 30 years that followed until her death last week I ran into Chandita everywheremdashat film screenings at art shows at political protests at book readings and talks That continuous presence had a profound meaning it signified belief and confidence in a world she had chosen to be part of and had also helped to build A world committed to the art ideas learning and the complex modernities of Indian tradition We were part of some collectivesmdashCulture at the World Social Forum the Indian Association of Women in Radio and Television and others We did not always agree and sometimes complained about each other to our colleagues So what So what if you donrsquot agree with everyone in your community or with your friends Community is built by witnessing something together by being able to recognise the meaning of what someone does not simply their success or their pleasantnessAlso readLittle lane lostTo explain why I think this is meaningful I need to tell another story Last year I was at a media awards event It was invigorating to be with a large number of people some old friends some whose work I was newly encountering to celebrate this extended community of ideas and political commitment to gender issues To my consternation most people left once theyrsquod received their awards not staying on for those who came after The ceremony was long and tediousmdashbut I wonder how people imagine they can build communities without bearing a little discomfort togetherChanditarsquos commitment to media education and social change was deep Her smile was big Her saris were beautiful Her friends loved her and they shared many adventures Her rigorous knowledge about every subject imaginable was fearsome and very extra Her passing called up memories of mentorship across generations Her scoldings had been many and may we count them among her achievements as acts of idealistic love and feminist comradeship I will miss running into her everywhereParomita Vohra is an awardwinning Mumbaibased filmmaker writer and curator working with fiction and nonfiction Reach her at paromitavohramiddaycom