Why does my mother-in-law dislike me so much?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My mother-in-law and I don't have the best relationship. I have been married for two years, but this has not changed her attitude towards me in any way. My father-in-law has always liked and supported me, but she has never wanted me to become part of her family for reasons I am not aware of. My wife doesn't understand it either, and has stopped insisting on me accompanying her when she goes home because she knows how much it hurts me. I want to fix this but can't think of anything that will change her attitude towards me. I can't go through life avoiding her because, if we have children, they will pick up on her dislike and this will affect us as a family. What can I do?
You should try and sit down with her for a heart-to-heart chat, because there is obviously something about this relationship that has not been addressed yet. Your wife or father-in-law may not be able to do much because she hasn't been forthcoming about what the problem is. You alone may be able to arrive at the heart of the matter by putting across your arguments for why her happiness and approval matter not just to you, but for your future children. This may take time because some people just take a while to get over misunderstandings or deep-seated prejudices but avoiding her is not a solution. In fact, meeting her more often may work in your favour, giving her an opportunity to see other sides of you that she may not know exist.

I want to end my relationship with my girlfriend, but don't have the heart to do it because her sister has a terminal illness. What should I do?
Being sensitive about her situation is great but lying about your feelings does her a greater disservice. If she believes this relationship isn't what she thinks it is, that may cause her more pain. You can always be there for her as a friend.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com