He has started talking to his ex

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been worried about my boyfriend and his relationship with his ex-girlfriend. They were together for around three years before breaking up, after which we got together. It has been around six months since we began dating and he has recently begun to chat with her again. I was happy about this at the start, because I thought it was healthy for them both, but I am now a little worried because it feels as if he tells her a lot about his personal life that also involves me. I don't know what they discuss, but it sometimes slips in when he says we should be doing something based on what his ex has said to him. I am definitely not comfortable with this and don't know how to bring it up without coming across as too jealous or possessive. What do I tell him? I don't want to start a fight for no reason.
This isn't about being jealous or possessive as much as it is about establishing boundaries. You have the right to guard your personal space, and everything that happens between you and your partner should be private. This is not easy to do, of course, because personal lives are always discussed among friends, but you have the right to point out when and if you aren't comfortable about something being said. If you have specific instances of what he has said that upsets you, call it out. Alternatively, you can initiate a conversation that lays down ground rules about what he can and cannot reveal about your life or relationship. You may have trouble having this conversation without coming across as resentful, but it is still important to be open about your feelings. You are entitled to how you feel irrespective of what it comes across as, and shouldn't let that stop you from being honest with your partner. As for starting a fight, why assume the worst before initiating any form of dialogue? It will help you both understand each other better.

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