He says he needs time away...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend recently told me that he wanted to rethink our relationship and needed some time away from me. It came completely out of the blue and I didn't know how to react even though I agreed. It has been three weeks, and he doesn't call or respond to my messages, saying he will reach out when he's ready. I am hurt and confused because I am pretty sure I have done nothing to make him question this. We have arguments like regular couples, and there have been the usual ups and downs, but nothing to make him feel as if this is not a relationship worth saving. I feel as if I am being tested without knowing what I am being tested for. If I have done something offensive, he should be open enough to tell me what the problem is. I am thinking of breaking up with him. Is this the right decision?
If you feel as if you are being tested, and he isn't being open about his reasons, you have every right to assume this relationship isn't working. Open communication, honesty, and the ability to work through things are critical, and they all appear to be missing here. You can give him more time if you feel patient enough, or believe this can work, but that depends entirely upon whether you want to save this. If he isn't prepared to communicate, nothing you do can make it happen.

Is it a problem when a partner stops texting as often as they used to? My girlfriend only sends a few text messages a day but, until a few weeks ago, we used to chat all day for hours. Should I be worried?
If she isn't giving you a reason for this change in behaviour, you should be worried. Reach out to her and ask to meet in person, then tell her why this bothers you. Not texting as often isn't a problem, provided she can explain why she doesn't seem to have the time anymore.

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