How do I get over his lying!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been wondering how long it takes for someone to get over a partner who is always lying, and who has been exposed as a cheat already. I don't trust my boyfriend anymore, and have decided to end this relationship, but I am also sure the pain will take a long time to go away because of how emotionally invested I was in this relationship. We were together for over four years and were planning to marry when I found out about what he had been doing, and how much he had been lying to me. There is anger and a deep sense of betrayal, but I also worry about being able to move on because I was so sure this was my partner for life. How do I cope with this?
There is no easy way of dealing with grief in the aftermath of any relationship. There is no manual on how long you will take to recover either, and it's possible that your sense of betrayal may last far longer than your grief. We all cope with the end of something differently, and what you need to keep in mind is why you have made this decision. Ultimately, to end a toxic relationship is also to take the first step towards healing, and towards putting yourself and your interests first. You have done that, and it is arguably the hardest thing to do. All you can do now is hold on to the belief that, at some point, you will look back at this and realize that it doesn't hurt as much as it did a while ago.

There was a guy who said he really liked me, and I liked him, too. Unfortunately, I think I scared him off by being too enthusiastic about my feelings. How do I get him back?
There's nothing wrong with being open about your feelings. You have made your intentions clear and, if this frightens him, maybe he isn't the person you think he is. Wait and see.

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