I lied to him about being a virgin...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

How do I tell my boyfriend that I am not a virgin? He thinks I am because that's what I said when we began dating. It was a bit of a joke because I thought he wouldn't believe me, but he clearly did, and I have been pushed into building a more elaborate lie over time. He is very sensitive about it, and this wasn't a problem at the start because I assumed our relationship would be a casual one. It has been almost two years now, and he thinks I lost my virginity to him. He wants to marry me, and I don't know how he will react if I tell him the truth about my past. What should I do?
You are speaking of things that occurred in your life before your boyfriend appeared. You have the right to hold on to that past and draw personal boundaries because you are entitled to, but the choice is yours. If you want to commit to a serious relationship without withholding any information, you will have to be prepared for the possibility that he may react in a positive or negative manner. If your relationship is strong, your past shouldn't matter. Even if it upsets him, time should allow him to move beyond it if he wants you in his life. At this point, you have to consider whether referring to the past is of any bearing on your future together. It's not an easy decision, but you can only base it upon how strong you think the bond between you two is.

I took my boyfriend back after we separated a few months ago, but I have recently come to the conclusion that I just don't love him anymore. What should I do?
If you know how you feel and choose not to act upon it, you are simply prolonging what will inevitably be a period of pain and anger. The sooner you tell him the truth about this, the better it will be for you both.

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