I like boyfriend’s friend far more

Illustration/Uday Mohite

What should I do about the fact that I like my boyfriend's friend a lot more than I like my boyfriend? I know it's wrong and it's not like I'm lying to my boyfriend, but I also can't deny the undeniable attraction I feel in ways that I just don't in my current relationship. If I say something to him, I worry that this may cause a rift not just between us but between him and his friend, too. It is confusing for me because I have tried to make peace with the way things are, and it only gets worse because I feel like I am with the wrong person.
The more you put off this conversation, the more you risk feeling resentful towards your boyfriend because you will project your dissatisfaction onto him. To be with someone you don't want to isn't just a lie, it is harmful to him as well as you. Yes, this may lead to a rift between you two, and your relationship will end, but how this affects his friendship doesn't concern you because you don't know what that relationship is like. You also don't know whether his friend feels the same way about you, so why not try and end one chapter before considering opening another one? If this isn't working, talk about it and give yourself time to find clarity about what you want to do next. If you believe the feeling is mutual, and you can speak to your boyfriend's friend, that may give you some idea of what to do next too.

I want to break up with my girlfriend but don't know how to bring up the subject because she is struggling with a health issue. Should I wait until she is better to speak?
You are simply trying to defer any possible pain, so when you choose to have this conversation won't matter. Waiting until she is stronger makes sense only if you are concerned that it may have an adverse impact on her condition.

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