Our families don’t want us to separate

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My husband and I have decided to separate after six years of marriage. We have tried counselling and given this as much of ourselves as we can, but there is no hope for us. I don't think I will have a problem moving on because it has been obvious for a few years now that this is not a healthy relationship for me to be in. We have spoken to lawyers and have begun gathering paperwork for a divorce. The only thing that has stopped us so far is our families, because they are convinced that we are making a huge mistake. They get along well and genuinely like spending time with each other. Our get-togethers used to be great because they really loved being together and don't want that to end. We have tried to explain that there is no hope for our relationship, but they keep telling us we are giving up too easily and, if we give it time, things will resolve on their own. What should I do?
Your relatives may love each other and get along well but aren't married and don't have to live under the same roof. It's nice that they have such a tight bond, but it means nothing if you and your husband can't make it work because that is all that matters in this relationship. Neither of you should choose to be married to make your families happy, because that is not a sensible approach.

Should I tell my girlfriend that I want to break up with her because I have feelings for someone else or lie and talk about how we don't get along as well as we should. I don't want to hurt her feelings.
You're going to hurt her either way, but doing so with honesty is the least you can do instead of making her feel as if she has some role to play in why this has ended. If you have feelings for someone else, why be ashamed of telling her the truth?

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