'My girlfriend tells her friends all my secrets'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My girlfriend has a habit of speaking to her friends about everything we discuss in private. This makes things embarrassing for me, because they know stuff no one else knows about me, and keep making references to these things whenever I go out with them. I have asked my girlfriend not to divulge anything, and she says she never does, but she's clearly lying. How do I get her to stop?
She needs to understand that a violation of your privacy is unacceptable, because it means the respect you have for each other isn't mutual. She may think it's harmless, but you need to explain to her why and how these things bother you. Point out that not telling her anything about your personal life may be a solution, but it will only be detrimental to your relationship because it will affect the trust you have in one another. Ask her to consider how she would feel if your friends knew things about her that she had shared with you in private.
I tried dating a common friend for a while because we were both told we were perfect for each other. It didn't work out though, which is a problem now, because the common friend who introduced us is being extremely awkward about the whole thing. This has ruined our relationship, which doesn't make sense because I don't hold him responsible in any way for the fact that it didn't work out. What can I do to resolve this?
It's nice that your friend cares about you enough to take this personally, but it's also childish because a relationship is largely only about the two people in it. Your friend needs to be sat down and have this explained to him. Take him out to dinner, tell him why things didn't work, why you decided to end it, and why this has absolutely nothing to do with him. It may take him a while to get it, but I think he will.
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